Holding Shape

Hey, it’s Debbie Pask, and I wanted to talk to you about the concept of holding shape and staying true to yourself. A lot of people get really affected by other people in the world, where those people tell them who they are or project negative judgments onto them. And it’s really hard to hold shape when you’re being attacked or projected at by other people, who are telling you who you are, what you’re about. It usually happens when people are going through bad breakups or maybe friendship breakdowns or work conflicts. And it’s very easy to get caught up into being bounced around by the universe, and start to feel like you are that person or that maybe you have got that negative quality, that they’re accusing you of. In moments like these it’s really important that you hold your shape and you decide what’s true for you. And it’s fine to try that on for a little bit. If someone says that you’re this or that you can certainly try it on and sit with it for a day, but you’ll soon find out whether you really believe that about yourself or not.

I had a recent experience like this myself. It was when I advertised an online course that I was teaching, I had some people contact me and tell me they didn’t think I was qualified. And their thoughts probably came as a result because the course I was teaching was a tool that originally sprung from an indigenous group of people, BUT I’ve been studying it, teaching it, learning from my own indigenous teachers for years. I, won’t lie, I kind of got a little bit of a shock. A bit of pang. Like, “Oh, who am I to teach this tool?” And I sat with it for a day or two. And then I realised that, “Wow, this is my life’s work.” I’ve studied this. I’ve learnt it. This is who I am. And I don’t need a birth certificate to tell me that I have the right or wrong genetic code to teach something that I’m passionate about. So, I had to really try it on for a little bit, step into myself, and realise what my truth was or my truth is. And now I realise that I’m super qualified to teach it and it helps thousands of people.

When someone projects something at you, or tells you who you are, I want you to really play around with that idea. You can certainly go, “Is this me?” But you’ll come back to a truth where you realise most projections aren’t about you, they’re about the other person, about their insecurities or about their issues. It’s important to really stay true to yourself, and this is the biggest gift that you can give yourself. Staying clear on your boundaries, holding your shape, and turning up every day. And if there’s something that you don’t like about yourself, look into that more deeply and work through it. But you’ll probably find that you’re judging yourself way too harshly. We’re always way too hard on ourselves than the opposite. So be kind to yourself and learn to hold your shape and you can then decide what your truth is, not anyone else. Thanks.